Tag Archive | How to model good listening

Talking with Kids about Listening Filters

by Susanne M. Poulette, MS, CCC-SLP

Let’s talk about listening filters. We all know the signs, and no doubt we’ve been there. We may be in a public place and hear an announcement, and as soon as we identify that the message doesn’t pertain to us, we tune it right out. It could happen during a conversation or when listening to a speaker. We may drift off, not because we’re  tired or distracted, but because we’ve actively decided to block the message, for any number of reasons. We might be opposed to the speaker or the topic, we may think it doesn’t apply, or maybe we just don’t want to hear what we know is coming. 

What about our students? When we get exasperated with continually asking for attention, and redirecting them to listening…it might be worth exploring why they’re not listening and if they are filtering you out. 

Here’s my simple chart to help you get started in talking with your students about listening filters; what they are, and how to recognize and resolve them. I hope this is a good jumping off point for discussion and lots of problem solving with your students.

 Go ahead- click, download and print, it’s a freebie!

listening-filters-sm-poulette

© S M Poulette 2017

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For Teachers & Parents: Some Thoughts on Whole Body Listening

by Susanne Poulette (Truesdale), CCC-SLP

apple-border-for-casha-news-jpg-sofftenedSo it’s that busy September back-to-school time when thoughts turn to refreshing our students’ learning skills and strategies. Among the tools for teaching and sharpening listening skills is good old Whole Body Listening.

  • Brain – thinking about what the ears are hearing.
  • Eyes – looking toward the speaker.
  • Mouth – quiet
  • Hands – quiet, still
  • Seat – firmly in the chair or on the floor.
  • Feet – quietly where they should be (floor or criss-cross applesauce).

 

IT’S A TOOL, NOT A RULE

The critical word here is “tool.” WBL should be modified as needed for students who have special needs, difficulty with self-regulation, or discomfort with eye contact. It should always be used with sensitivity for a child’s developmental readiness and attention span level. 

WBL lessons are suggestions for teaching and practicing listening skills. WBL is a teaching tool that can be used as a key phrase to pre-set, or as a reminder for good listening, but not for lengthy performance expectations.

THE BRAIN, STAR PERFORMER

If I could identify the most critical element of WBL, it would be listening with the brain. When I think about what a speaker is saying, I’m essentially connecting my mind with that speaker’s mind. Isn’t that true attending and authentic listening?

Listening with the brain can also help us develop an internal schema as we think about what we are hearing and form mental images. In this way, thinking about what is being said can encourage visualization, and perhaps this might increase comprehension and retention.

LISTENERS TAKE CHARGE

We can use WBL to help students to take responsibility for their listening behaviors. Students become aware of and reflect on their own listening. Let’s encourage students to question themselves: “What do I need to listen for? Did I think about what the speaker was saying, or what was going on outside the window? How well did I do? Do I get it? Do I need to ask a question?”

SHOW, DON’T TELL 

We know that children learn by watching, listening, and imitating. In fact, we may know all too well how fast a child can learn a naughty word or behavior! The same holds true for listening.

When we’re good listeners, we demonstrate how we want our students to listen. Without interrupting or rushing, by maintaining eye contact and attention, we listen well and model the same courtesy to students as we do to adults.

reading-at-hillside

STRATEGIES TO USE WITH WHOLE BODY LISTENING:  HELP STUDENTS DEFINE GOOD LISTENING SKILLS

  • Brainstorm examples of good vs. poor listening and generate lists.
  • Encourage students to reflect on the effort involved in their own listening: Is it easy or difficult?
  • What makes it easy or difficult?  When, why, where is it easy or difficult?
  • What are some solutions for making listening easier?
  • Ask, “Listening is a skill, so how do you get better at a skill?”  Elicit discussion: “Skills improve with correct practice, like throwing a ball, tying shoe laces, playing an instrument…” Encourage students to make this connection and understand that we can improve our listening skills.
  • Teach the difference between HEARING and LISTENING:  

              We HEAR with our EARS

              We LISTEN with BRAIN, EYES, MOUTH AND CALM BODY. 

  • Compare hearing and listening to TV channels:

             TV is turned on, but set at a blank screen: “TV is ON”— is like HEARING.

             TV is turned on and “TUNED IN” to a real channel — is like LISTENING.

  • TUNING IN makes the difference. TUNED IN means we connect our brain to the message; we think about it, focus on it, and give it importance.
  • Use the key words to teach self-monitoring: “Am I TUNED IN to the listening channel or a blank screen?
  • When listeners are distracted and then they hear the speaker say something like, “Now don’t forget…” or “What do you think about…” That’s a cue to click themselves back to the listening channel.

 

MY SEPTEMBER WISH FOR ALL TEACHERS   photo-for-book

I wish you a joyful, productive, satisfying, and successful school year. May you optimize and cherish the profound impact you have on the future generation.        ~ Susanne

 

 

Why doesn’t this child listen to me?

By Susanne Marie Poulette, CCC-SLP

So, why doesn’t this child listen to you?  

As parents, teachers, and caregivers, we may find ourselves saying this all too often. We expect our children to pay attention, listen and follow our directions.

Do as I do:  Modeling = Teaching

What can we do to teach children to listen?  To start, let’s look at how children typically learn to communicate. From the time that they are babies, children listen, watch, and imitate our interactions as we speak and listen to one another. Modeling good listening is then a critical step in teaching good listening.

Stop, Look, and Listen.      

Do we regularly stop what we are doing, look at the child, and listen carefully with full attention? Modeling these behaviors would be the first step in helping that child to develop good listening skills. (Case in point: have you ever seen your child imitate a behavior that you are not proud of? Some children learn very fast by listening to and watching adults!) 

chucks nose to nose with caption

Carl Smith provides the following clear, concise guidelines:   

Guidelines For Modeling Good Listening Skills

  • Be interested and attentive. Children can tell whether they have a parent’s interest and attention by the way the parent replies or does not reply. Forget about the telephone and other distractions. Maintain eye contact to show that you really are with the child. 
  • Encourage talking. Some children need an invitation to start talking. You might begin with, “Tell me about your day at school.” Children are more likely to share their ideas and feelings when others think them important.
  • Listen patiently. People think faster than they speak. With limited vocabulary and experience in talking, children often take longer than adults to find the right word. Listen as though you have plenty of time.
  • Hear children out. Avoid cutting children off before they have finished speaking. It is easy to form an opinion or reject children’s views before they finish what they have to say. It may be difficult to listen respectfully and not correct misconceptions, but respect their right to have and express their opinions.
  • Listen to nonverbal messages. Many messages children send are communicated nonverbally by their tone of voice, their facial expressions, their energy level, their posture, or changes in their behavior patterns. You can often tell more from the way a child says something than from what is said. When a child comes in obviously upset, be sure to find a quiet time then or sometime that day to help explore those feelings.

Carl Smith, How Can Parents Model Good Listening Skills? Indiana University, 1992.  ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading and Communication Skills.